| coooooooooooool ... |
[24 Jun 2009|06:02pm] |
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i am moving home.
this wasn't an easy decision by any means, but right now, it seems like the best decision for me. originally, i didn't think i could live at home. i thought i would lose my mind. but lately, i've been going home and spending more and more time there and i haven't lost my mind yet. given, i don't have a room of my own at home (i share a room with my 6 year old brother lol), because our house is just not big enough to accomodate everyone living there. and the bed that i sleep in really sucks. i dont know if it's a shitty bed or if it's the fact that i sleep next to liam and he usually ends up sleeping horizontal or digging his little toes into me- i dont know. i just sleep bad and it sucks. - so the fact that i haven't lost my mind could change. but i've applied like CCCRAAAZZZYYY to jobs here, and haven't gonne ONE call. i am not even exagerating - i apply for at least one job every day. it's f-ing brutal. i've applied for jobs at home too (no call backs though...big suprise there). it is so frustrating. it is so frustrating sitting on almost 25,000$ of debt, and i can't do ANYTHING with the "education" that i've earned. people say, oh, it will come in time. everyone who has said that to me or who is going to say that to me, can shove it up their ass. when YOU are sitting on that amount of debt, we'll see how you feel. i have to start paying that back soon, and i am currently jobless. how the fuck am i supposed to pay it back? hmm??? or there are the ones who say it has to do with the economy...right? NO. because there are always sick people. ALWAYS. and there has been absolutely no slow down in the amount of job postings there have been for my kind of career and i haven't gotten one call back. and i've applied to every oneeeeeeeee. . F. M. L.
so i am moving home, i think maybe i'll be happier there? i have no idea. i thought london would bring me happiness, but i spend 95% of my time alone and there were two weeks there where i cried every single day because i am so frustrated and disappointed and just lost. but going home, i hung out with some old friends- well, not really old, just ones that i haven't been able to see for the past 6 months because of school and everything- like nikki & cassie, best friends, that i've just reconnected with and who have made me happy and feel not so alone and lost. sarah is here in london but she makes no time for anyone but rob and school. SAME GOD DAMN OLD THING ... my friendship with her is getting so old. things will never change. she says she'll be "sad" if i leave ... but why? she doesn't make the time for me anyways. i guess if i move home it's just another easy excuse she can use as to why she makes me effort to be my friend or to be a part of my life.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand believe it or not, i really enjoy spending time with my family. i spend a lot of time with my sister and it's awesum : )
soooooooo my sister and shawn are coming to get me on sunday. i am leaving my furniture and stuff here (i have to be out aug 1st anyways) and i'll be home for who knows how long. i applied for a job at a retirement home as a part-time receptionist so lets all cross our fingers in hopes that i get it!!
i wanted to be home the past three days; the weather has been so hot and gorgeous and all i've really wanted to do is lay out on my back patio and fry like a lobster :) lol. i've spent some time outside but living in an apartment means there is no where to tan. and yeah, i could go for a walk but being in 34C weather is exhausting after a bit. today rich and i went downtown and we came back up to our place on the bus, which wasn't air conditioned. omg, we were roasting on it. halfway home i realized that the bottom of my legs were sweating perfusely. ew. our stop comes and we get off and there is actually moisture ... and a lot of it, on the seat, left from my legs. EW. HOW EMBARASSING. i mean, if you got on the bus and saw that, would you be grossed out? or, if you watched someone get off the bus and then saw that after they got off? i guess i wouldn't think any less of them, considering how freaking hot it was. lol.
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| it happens |
[15 Jun 2009|11:16pm] |
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i have so much to update on since my last entry. wow, so much has changed. i don't know if anyone even reads this anymore ... (???) let me know if you do i guess, so that i know my updating is not a total waste lol.
to sum up, but not elaborate..
-chris is a douchebag. that 'thing' .. whatever is was, fizzled as quick as is began
-i'm done school, i graduate wednesday...
-i went home for a one month work placement, then moved back to london
-i live with my ex boyfriend. yup. it's actually going... good, really good, better than i expected. and we've proved everyone wrong who thought it was a bad idea by getting along great and NOT getting back together :)--not gunna EVER happen. trust me.
-trying to lose some weight, it's going ok so far.
-friends are royally pissing me off.
-job front is really, REALLY shitty. i don't know what the next couple months holds for me job wise..
-how do you know you like someone?
-i want to get back into my journaling, like laura. she's so good at it ha ha
-aaaaaaaaaannnddd i think that's it. for now.
when i have more time, i WILL go into more detail of how much of a douche bag chris is. WWWWWWWWWWWOOOWWWZA
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[09 Oct 2008|06:57pm] |
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Life is good.
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| aw |
[04 Nov 2007|01:39pm] |
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</form>
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| 121 things about amy |
[22 Sep 2007|01:38pm] |
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121 questions about :amy
(1) Your gender: Female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight
(3) Single?: nope
(4) Want to be? not at all
(5) Your birth day: july 15 88
(6) Age you wish you were: i love the age i'm at right now.
(7) Your height: 5'3"....i could possibly be exagerating there.
(9) The color of your eyes: blue
(10) The color of your hair: blonde.
(11) Piercings?: 2 ear lobes, tongue, cartilage, belly button
(12) Tattoos?: nada....but the two i want are "i hope you dance" written in script on the top of my foot and a blue butterfly on my right shoulder blade.
DO YOU...
(13) Smoke?: no
(14) Do drugs?: ish.
(15) Read the newspaper?: the odd time
(16) Pray?: sometimes
(17) Talk to strangers who IM you?: sometimes,..i guess depends if they seem creepy or not.
(18) Take walks in the rain?: the rain makes me miserable!
(19) Drive?: not yet
(20) Like to drive fast?: nope
HAVE YOU EVER...
(21) Hurt yourself?: not purposely..but i tend to be accident prone.
(22) Been out of the country?: nope.
(23) Been in love: once
(24) Done drugs?: yes
(25) Gone skinny dipping?: i never have but i've always wanted to!
(26) Had a surgery?: no
(27) Ran away from home?: nope.
(28) Played strip poker?:nooo
(29) Gotten beaten up?: nope.
(30) Been picked on?: yes
(31) Been on stage?: yeah..school plays and music and whatnot.
(32) Slept outdoors?: mhm
(33) Thought about suicide?: no.
(34) Pulled an all-nighter?: yes!
(35) If yes, what is your record?: ummm i think it was like 9am friday morning to probably about midnight saturday night.
(36) Talked on the phone all night?: yup.
(37) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: haha yeah.
(38) Slept all day?: no, i cannot do that
(40) Made out with a stranger?: ...yes. he pretty much ate my face.
(39) Have you ever had sex with a stranger?: nope
(42) Kissed the same sex?:yess hahah
(43) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: nope
(44) Been betrayed?: that's inevitable really
(45) Broken the law: yesh
(46) Met a famous person?: haha not at all
(47) Been on radio/TV.?:not that i recall
(48) Been in a mosh-pit?: well i've been on the outsides of a moshpit protecting my friends and i from the danger in front of us
(49) Had a nervous breakdown?: no
(50) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: haha no...maybe not to my face. RICHARD.
(51) Had a dream that kept coming back?: oh likely
(52) Shoe brand?: lots
(53) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: clothes
(54) Wear hats?: nope
(55) Judge other people by their clothing? we all make snap judgements, though we're too stuck up to admit that we actually do.
(56) Wear make-up?: yesh
(57) Favorite place to shop?: lots of places...any where i find something that i like
(58) Favorite article of clothing?: richs tshirt that i brought to school with me:)
(59) Are you trendy?: i'd say
BELIEFS
(60) Believe in life on other planets?: somewhat
(61) Miracles?: definitely.
(62) Astrology?: to an extent.
(63) Magic?: only chriss angel
(64) God?: yes
(65) Satan?: if you believe in heave, you believe in hell
(66) Santa?: um YEAH.
(67) Ghosts?: to an extent.
(68) Luck?: i suppose.
(69) Love at first sight?: yes, somewhat. you are attracted to a person by looks first.
(70) Yin and Yang?: ???
(71) Witches?: not really.
(72) Easter bunny?: uh HUH!
(73) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
(74) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: i hope.
(75) Do you wish on stars?: sometimes.
LOVE, and all that stuff:
(76) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: no
(77) Do you remember your first love?: yes, my richypoo
(78) Still love him/her?: very much so.
(79) Do you consider love a mistake?: no. never regret something that once made you smile:)
(80) What do you find romantic?: a lot of things.
(81) Turn-on?: sense of humour, yummy smell, deep voice
(82) Turn-off?: smells bad, cocky
(83) Do you base your judgement on looks alone?: no, not at all. but relationships grow from that.
(84) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: meh...i've never really though about it.
85) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: i don't think so? looks are the first thing we judge so you have to be physically attracted to a person first and then as time goes on you grow to be romantically attracted to said person.
(86) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: i guess
(87) What is best about the opposite sex?: lot less mean than girls, and they get over things pretty quickly. they know how to have a good time and to leave the drama at the door.
(88) What's the last present someone gave you?: ummm...rich buys me stuff all the time lol. the last present i think would be the necklace he gave me.
(89) Are you in love?: very much so
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(90) That you laughed at?: rich
(91) That laughed at you?: oh likely rich.
(92) That turned you on?: richard
(93) You went shopping with?: amanda and katherine
(94) To disappoint you?: my parents
(95) To ask you out?: n/a
(96) To make you cry?: rich...but it was a happy cry
(97) That you thought about?: liam actually
(99) You saw a movie with?: rich
(100) That you talked to on the phone?: my mom
(101) You talked to through IM?: stacey
(102) You saw that you knew?: mom, dad, liam, reid, lisa, james
(103) You turned down?: uhh...idk.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(104) Smiled?: today
(105) Laughed? this morning when rich made a TERRIBLE joke...but it was so terrible it was hilarious. hahahaha
(106) Cried?: this morning
(107) Bought something?: i have no money to buy things!
(108) Danced?: this morning
(109) Were sarcastic?: can't remember
(110) hugged someone?: earlier today
(111) Talked to an ex?: eek...i can't even remember.
(112) Watched your fave movie?: don't remember.
(113) Talked on the phone?: earlier today
(114) Listened to the radio? today.
115) watched TV?: this morning
(116) Went out?: last night
(117) Helped someone?: yesterday in accounting muahahaha
(118) Sang?: last night
(119) Said?: i'm freezing!!!
(120) Got drunk?: last friday
(121) Had sex?: my business not yours:)
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[24 Jul 2007|09:54am] |
stolen from lauras myspace! :)
Put your songs on shuffle and then answer the questions about the first 10 songs that show up
Song 1: "make you smile"
Artist: plus 44
1. Is this a fast or slow song? fast
2. How long has this band/artist been around? wow, i don't even know... not that long i don't think?
3. Where did you first hear this song? i saw someone listening to it on msn and downloaded it myself.
4. What does this song remind you of? umm... it doesn't really remind me of anything
5. What CD is this song from? when your heart stops beating
Song 2: "hump de bump"
Artist: red hot chilli peppers
1. What is this song about? i don't really know. like, it seems pretty straight forward but i don't get the lyrics.
2. What are the first couple lines of the song: "40 detectives this week / 40 detectives strong / Takin' a stroll down Love Street / Strollin' is that so wrong / Can I get my co-defendant"
3. How long have you been listening to this band/singer? actually, not that long. for the longest time i didn't think i liked the rhcp, but in the past year i've been listening to them more
4. What genre do they sing in? rock
5. Who would you dedicate this song to? to tell you the truth, i actually really hate this song, so i wouldn't dedicate it to anyone
Song 3: "happy ending"
Artist: sugarland
1. Name all the instruments playing on this song: umm... i don't know... guitar?
2. What's the first word of the song: cowboys
3. Does this song hold any special meaning to you? it makes me feel like right from the beginning, we all want the same thing... a happy ending
4. Is this song a good song to dance to? yeah, i guess so
5. Was this song ever a single? not yet anyways
Song 4: "tonight the heartaches on me"
Artist: dixie chicks
1. What feeling do you get when you hear this song? it reminds me of when i was a kid, and family would come over, and they'd all party until wee hours of the night, thing song just reminds me of that
2. Where did you first hear this song? i really have no idea... it would have been in the 90s
3. Favorite lyric from this song? i actually really like the chorus... "But tonight, the heartache's on me, on me / Let's drink a toast to the fool who couldn't see / Bartender pour the wine, 'cause the hurtin's all mine / Tonight, the heartache's on me"
4. Is this your favorite band/singer? yes, i love the dixie chicks!
5. Do you have 10+ songs of this band/singer on your iPod/mp3 player? oh yeah
Song 5: "never again" remix
Artist: kelly clarkson
1. What memory comes to mind when hearing this song? prom
2. Is this a favorite song? not really, i'm actually getting sick of it
3. Name one friend whom you know has listened to this song: um.. i remember kirstin and i dancing to it at prom!
4. When was the last time this band/singer came out with a CD? recently, i don't know the exact date though
5. Have you ever heard this song performed live? no, but i think she would be great!
Song 6: "other side of the world"
Artist: KT Tunstall
1. What genre is this artist in? i don't really know what it would be classified as
2. Is this song was a single, when was it released? 2006 i believe
3. Is this song one many people know of? i i think so, it's played on the radio stations around here a lot
4. Is it overplayed on the radio? GOD yes
5. Who would dedicate this song to you? i dunno... i can't really relate to it at this point
Song 7: "home"
Artist: chris daughtry
1. Is this a fast or slow song? slow
2. What are the first couple lines of this song? "i'm staring out into the night / trying to hide the pain"
3. Name all the instruments playing on this song: idk
4. When did you put this song on your iPod/mp3 player? um, late 2006
5. Who would you recommend to listen to this song? anyone who has been hurt
Song 8: "i can only think of one"
Artist: dierks bentley
1. What feeling do you get when you hear this song? i just want to lay on my bed and listen to it
2. Have you ever heard this song performed live? once or twice, i actually didn't know it was on here!
3. What genre is this artist in? country!
4. How long is this song? 1:16
5. Do you have any CD's of this artist? no, but i would love to
Song 9: "wasted"
Artist: carrie underwood
1. How long have you been listening to this band/singer? ever since her cd came out
2. Is it or has it ever been overplayed on the radio? it's starting to, but i could neverrr get tired of her!
3. Name one friend whom you know has listened to this song: sarah... she's actually the one who got me hooked
4. When was the first time you heard this song? with sarah, driving to london last year
5. Who would you dedicate this song to? anyone who's doing anything or with anyone that's holding them back from great things
Song 10: "wannabe"
Artist: spice girls
1. What are the first couple of lines of this song? "Yo! I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want / So tell me what you want, what you really really want"
2. Is this song a good song to dance to? YES!
3. Did you first hear this song on a movie/tv show? i don't remember... i was like 10
4. Is this song heavy on curse words? not at all
5. Who would you dedicate this song to? all of my friends / the generation that grew up with the spice girls
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[10 May 2007|09:37pm] |
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Part 1: The Birth of You:
Were you a planned baby?: nope, none of us were. especially liam. hah
Were you the first?: yes
Who was present at your birth?: i'm guessing my mom, dad, doctors, and my g-ma was probably there too
Were your parents married when you were born: nope
What is your birthdate?: july 15th 88
Part 2: The Family:
How would you describe your family?: we're a contradiction really. we're all going in seperate directions but somehow we come together.
Are your parents married? yes
Siblings or an only child?: one sister, 2 brothers
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest? i'm eldest
What are your siblings names and ages?: kierstyn-17, reid-14, liam-4
Which parent do you get along with best?: i'd have to say my mom. my dad and i are a lot alike which causes us to clash most of the time.
Do you have step parents?: no
Part 3: The Friends:
Do you have more than one best friend?: yes
Who are your best friends? rich, nikki, sarah
What do you like to do when you are together?: we all like to do different things together.
Do you share the same interests?: i'd say so
Which friend can you tell anything to?: rich
Part 4: Your Personality:
How low is your self esteem?: i have my days.
Are you happy?: generally yes, but i have my days
Do you live life to the fullest?: i don't think i do.
Part 5: Appearance:
Are you comforable with the way you look?: at times yes
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: cartilage, tongue, and belly button
Describe your hair.: blonde, longish
What make-up do you wear?: foundation, powder, mascara, and eyeliner
How do you dress?: girly? hahah
Part 6: The Past:
Were you a strange child? at times i think i was. hjahaha. but i think we all grow up weird. the younger generation are always pretty odd i'd have to say.
What did you use to love that you no longer do?: sundays with my grandma
Do you have the same friends?: yes, i suppose... we all drift apart, but we still talk.
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: yes
Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: i don't really know. my ambition is to go to school next year, and make it without my family. that's really as far as it goes for me right now.
Are you scared of growing old?: i'm scared of both. growing old and staying young
Do you want to get married?: at some point
Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: depends on the weather.
Do you like walking in the rain?: yNO! the rain seriously makes me miserable.
Part 9: Food:
Are you a vegetarian?: not a typical vegetarion, the only meat i eat is chicken.
What is your favorite fruit?: i love alll fruit. strawberries and bananas get tops though.
What food makes you want to gag?: hotdogs, hamburgers, MUSSELS
What is your favorite dessert?: hm... i have such a sweet tooth. any dessert makes me happy. tho lemon meringe pie is probably my favourite.
What is your favorite restaurant?: don't really have a favourite restaurant. maybe pizza delight?
Are you a fussy eater?: at times i can be.
Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: taken
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: rich
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: i think to love and be loved in return is one of the greatest feelings out there, but there's so much more out there
Do you believe in love at first sight?: somewhat perhaps
Part 11: Experiences
What was one of your greatest experiences?: i can't think of anything specific
What was one of your worst?: grade 10 was a horrible year for me.
Have you ever thought you were going to die?: idk really.
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[26 Apr 2007|09:48am] |
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I GOT INTO RESIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i passed my in-car driving exam with 86%. now i just have to wait a week or so, then hopefully i can work towards getting my g2!!
yay!!! not a bad couple days for amy!! :D
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[09 Apr 2007|01:23pm] |
sooooo i talked it over with the rents, and i've applied to residence. we worked it out and it would be about a grand a month to live on my own in london.
$699 rent
plus cable, internet, and cell phone bill.
plus groceries and shit.
and residence is $6000 for the entire year. plus a $1000 meal plan. i'm actually super excited. you have no idea how fucking scared i was to be living on my own. but living on residence will be a good thing and will help with the gradual change of living on my own. the residences on fanshawe are actually really nice too. it's apartment style,4 roomates (which will hopefully be liveable). i'm excited, but also very scared, scared for my roommates. hopefully i don't get a huge party gang... since i'm not really a big partyer in the first place. send good thoughts my way that i actually get PICKED for residence!!
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[19 Mar 2007|12:42pm] |
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EIGHT lasts.
8. last time you kissed someone? about 10 minutes ago when rich headed off to co-op
7. last beverage: water
6. last phone call: hm..richard
5. last text message: to: hmm.. kirstin maybe?
4. last cd played: dixie chicks
3. last BUBBLE bath: couple months ago
2. last time you cried: last night
1. last time you talked to your EX: hm...this could get technical.
SEVEN have yous.
7. have you ever dated someone twice? yes
6. have you ever been cheated on?: not that i know of
5. have you ever kissed someone & regretted it? yep
4. have you ever thought you had fallen in love? yes
3. Have you ever lost someone special? mhm
2. have you ever been depressed?: yeah, i think so
1. have you ever been drunk and thrown up? kinda sorta.
SIX things you did in the past week:
1. went to owen sound with sarah
2. made a vlog with nikki
3. wrote an essay
4. been sick
5. watched greys anatomy
6. listened
FIVE favorite people to talk to (in no particular order):
1. nikki
2. rich
3. sarah
4. amy
5. my mommy
FOUR places you have been on vacation:
1. colbourne
2. toronto
3. kitchener
4. picton
(seriously though, that's pathetic. as am i... hahaha)
List THREE favorite colors.
1. pink
2. black
3. aqua
List two things you would like to do:
1. get our media project over and done with
2. watch a movie with my boyfriend
This month have you...
- Fallen out of love: nope
- Laughed until you cried: yes
- Met someone who changed your life: not really no
- Gotten close to someone: i guess closER to some people
- Found out who your true friends were: yeah, that happens a lot actually. people change, people grow, you lose touch.
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[06 Feb 2007|10:51pm] |
Comment and I will:
1) Tell you why I friended you.
2) Associate you with a song/film.
3) Tell a random fact about you.
4) Tell a first memory about you.
5) Associate you with a character/pairing.
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7) Show you my favourite user pic of yours.
8) In retort, you must spread this disease in your LJ.
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[02 Feb 2007|09:51am] |
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i want to dye my hair brown... do you think i could pull it off?
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[14 Jan 2007|01:06am] |
i love this song....
We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
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[12 Jan 2007|01:37pm] |
him: i'm so in love with you amy
awww!!!
2 years tomorrow .. (give or take some months lol)... yeehaw!!
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[10 Jan 2007|11:18am] |
the 10 commandments of greys anatomy
11. Thou shall not allow thy children (literal or figurative) to get out of hand. (Miranda Bailey)
12. Thou shall not committ adultery -- short-term or long-term -- with anyone who could be described as a McSteamy. (Addison Montgomery-Shepherd and Callie Torres)
13. Thou shall try not to be so consistently grating when providing thy voiceover commentaries. (Meredith Grey)
14. Thou shall not (temporarily) kill thy significant other -- even if the end goal is to score him or her an organ transplant. (Izzie Stevens)
15. Though shall not bear false withness about thy palsied hand. (Preston Burke)
16. Thou shall stop being a workaholic. (Richard Webber)
17. Thou shall not covet thy recently bereaved ex. (Alex Karev)
18. Thou shall not use fried chicken to woo a woman. (George O'Malley)
19. Thou shall continue to amuse with thy patented brand of bitchery. (Cristina Yang)
20. Thou shall stop lurking in the elevators. (Derek Shepherd)
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| happy 2oo7! =]] |
[02 Jan 2007|02:38am] |
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well this new years was NOTHING like last years. at all. i'd have to say that both years were pretty equal. last year was good cuz ALL of my friends were here, but this year was good just cuz it was a small group (well not really... ) of my friends, and it was just raw fun. no bitching, no personality clashes, no this person doesnt like that person, etc. it was just real. i missed a lottt of my friends but at the same time, i KNOW that i wouldve a)not had as much fun partying anywhere else b) wouldn't have felt comfortable partying anywhere else/with the people i was partying with. i really had a good time but it just makes me realize even more how much everyone is drifting apart. in a way it makes me sad but i also know that change is inevitable and in our own little ways we must embrace it.
if that whole "how you spend new years is how you'll spend the rest of the year" saying is true, well, then 2007 will be a good year. but i had a goood new years last year, but 2006 wasn't that great. so what if 2007 does shape up? but does that saying hold true for the people you spend new years with as well? i know everyone is drifting apart and everything, but does that say alot for our friendships to come within the next year? i think it does. and i'm not sad about that. right now, i'm friends with the people i want to be friends with. i think a lot of how our years become is the people we are friends with... i mean, 2006... the ups and downs... were completely because of friendships, old and new. i dont know. i'm just rambling really..... it all makes sense in my head :) i just, things are so different from last year and while i know change is inevitable and i know things have slowly been changing for a while now, and it makes me sad cuz this is the last year of high school, we're in our final stages and it just makes me realize how much closer we are to school next year and how the whole change of moving away and everything is going to be like a slap in the face for me.
so.. 2006? hmm. what should i say about that??...
nothing like i expected.
i made friends. i drifted from others. i didn't hang out with the ones i wanted to. and i hung out with ones i never expected to. i made relationships with people. and saw the true colours- good and bad- of some people. it still amazes me to this day how mean teenage girls can be. don't get me wrong, the worst of me has definitely come out this year, but at the same time the best came out in me. i defended myself. i stood up for what I believed was right. i didn't let people push me down to THEIR standards, to fit their molds of what kind of friend i should be. A LOT of the time, my opinion was different and most of the time people didnt agree with what i said or what i did and most of the time that did get me in trouble, but at least i was sticking up for what i thought i was right. there's so many people out there who complain, who cry, who bitch and moan about things that they could change, but keep their mouths shut because "they don't want to cause drama"... you know what i say to that? FUCK THAT. unless you're willing to stick up for yourself and your beliefs, whether you believe that someone is being a shitty friend to you or someone is being a shitty friend to one of your friends, then you don't have the right to complain. you don't have the right to complain about something that could very well be changed, by both your attitude and actions. that's something i never used to do. ever. when someone pisses me off, at least one person knows. if i'm annoyed with someone or pissed at someone, i rant to anyone who'll listen. i run my mouth. i say what i feel on myspace and livejournal even though i probably shouldnt BECAUSE I CAN. because i don't care. i don't keep my opinions to myself for fear of the drama it will cause, i'm HARDLY a neutral person, i get right in there and say things i shouldn't say, because it's what i believe is right at the time. i'm not the only one who should live by these standards either. this is why i say the best came out in me this year. there's nothing i regret. i stand by everything wrong i've done this year.
there were definitely some good times within 2006 though. for sure. so many good parties, good times. i cried a lot of tears in 2006, but i think my laughter outnumbers the tears. which is a good thing in my opinion.
however, being that it's now 2007, it's just one more step towards school next year. yeah i know i've already gone on about it enough, but before new years i was like "ok, its not even 2007 yet!"... but now it is!! i think when september comes, i'll be ready.. but right now 'm not. im fucking terrified of leaving my friends, boyfriend, and family behind. when i'm with rich, i dont think about this shit. when i'm with him, the whole internal turmoil i've got going on goes away and i just think about then and there. but when i'm not around him... and i don't know why it's just him... everything just comes rushing back. he takes me away from everything else going on in my life. not that my friends don't, but when im with friends i just think of the good times we're having and how much i'm going to miss them next year. i dont understand how he has the ability to do that to me, but my friends don't. if not both, it should be the other way around. ugh. and speaking of rich... i hope we have an awesum 2007. we've been back together for 5 months and things have been more than perfect. i can't believe it's going to be 2 years in january... that's fucking crazy. it's crazy/ funny to me that at this time 2 years ago, i liked him and was hoping that emilie would just get it over with and break up with him. ahahaha. .. who knew that we'd ride the emotional roller coaster we've ridin the past two years. and you know what? it was totally worth it... cuz it got us at this amazing sport we're at now, and i couldnt ask for anything better. he's my favourite <33
so...
to my current friends- through the fights and everything, thanks for never changing, for being yourselves, and for finding each other again after we got lost.
to my old "friends"- you know exactly who you are, i regret nothing that has happened between us. you taught me things i wouldnt have otherwise known about yourself and most importantly myself, so for that i thank you. but for the bullshit you pulled, not only towards my friends, but to me, fuck you to the hurt, the pain, the pointless stunts you've pulled. have a nice life.
but you live, you learn....
so here's to 2007... hoping in it's own quirky ways it's completely different from last year...
oh, and can't forget ... http://www.43things.com/person/amers16
everyone should make their own :)
xo amy
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[30 Dec 2006|01:38am] |
these are some of my favourite joey quotes.. not even gunna lie, these make me laugh out loud!
Joey "What's wrong with how I signed it?" (the adoption reference letter for Monica and Chandler)
Monica "You signed it 'Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani'."
"Paper, snow, a ghost?!!"
"It's a moo point. It's like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo." Monica: Joey, do u think sharks are sexy?
Joey: no...wait, what was the little mermaid?
Joey (holding a bucket of chicken): I'm only eating the skins so the chicken is up for grabs
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Rachel: You're so pretty.
joey: (on janice) i just want to rip off my own arm just so i have something to throw at her! |
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[24 Dec 2006|12:46pm] |
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i can't believe that it's already christmas eve and i doesn't feel like it at all!!! AT ALL! there's no snow.... so i think that's why :( even though the forecast says no snow, i'm secretly hoping for some :)
for this christmas i got rich a super expensive watch (tho i don't know why cuz i definitely dont have the money.. but he deserved it!), a picture frame with a picture of us in it, some hott new boxers (they were amazing... i just had to buy them... red silk with hershey kisses? come on!!), and some new cologne. he really spoiled me this christmas, i was surprised. he got me a ring, a bracelet, this picture frame with photobooth pictures of us in it :)..annnnnd a country cd! he did good! today he's coming over and i don't know what we will do but it's christmas eve yo!
anywaysss what else to update on? OOO my tooth situation. yeah, it got pulled. and it was the honestly the worst thing i've ever experienced in my entire life. it hurt sooo much. i bawled my eyes out. they had to put me in another room to sit and calm down cuz i was shaking from the shock of it. and all i did was sit there and cry, lol. so i had to wait like 20 minutes and then i got to leave, and i called rich and started crying again cuz i was so upset. and then i walked to his house and when i got there i bawled so hardcore. i don't even know why i was as upset as i was... i just was. i was in pain and upset that it had to be done and i was alone when it happened so that made it worse. ugh. but then i went to the school and seeing my friends made me happy :) it sucks though cuz my meds either make me a) really tired or b) REALLY queasy. so i've stopped taking them. i swear my stomach shrunk too cuz i barely eat ne more, and if i eat too much i feel sick. stupid meds!
and hmmm...nothing else i don't think?
anyone doing anything new years?!?!?
love amy! xo
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